As it’s almost the holiday season, I couldn’t help myself..
I forgot 3 CRUCIAL things though:
1. You must always – under pain of bad sex for 7 years – look in the eyes when toasting
2. You may never – under pain of bad sex for 7 years – cross the arms of another person when toasting
3. You must ALWAYS – under pain of no sex for 17 years – take a drink before setting your glass down
Also!
In order to be able to renew my residency card here in France next year, I got to/had to spend a day in a “civil education” class sponsored by the Office of Immigration. I say “got to” because while the morning was a bit slow (history, symbols of the republic, legislative vs executive vs judicial, etc) the afternoon reserved some pleasant surprises.
For example, did you know :
female mutilation is a huge crime in France (as it should be), punishable with up to 20 years in prison and a huge fine, due to the psychological and physical problems the little girl can have later in life, while circumcision is permitted but not enforced and can be refused since it has nothing to do with the little boy’s health
Marianne (a French symbol) always shows a part of her breasts to represent that France is supposed to take care of its citizens
foreigners were welcomed with “open arms” in the 50s because a huge number of young men had died during World War I (…not so much the case now. “sorry”
you have to ask the mayor’s office to expand your house — I didn’t think you had to ask anyone in the U.S. but now I’m wondering, do you??? I can just see some guy going ‘fuck that I’m building a goldfish racing room on to my back deck and the Man can just stick it in his [censored] if he doesn’t like it’
you CAN’T sell your body parts in France. Yes, you can pack up your ice kit. Sorry.
you can’t have polygamous relationships. Nor, in response to the gentleman sitting behind me (true story), can you PACS multiple women. Again, sorry.
it’s actually kind of difficult to be put in jail in France. Immediate reaction: who’s up for skinnydipping in Versailles’ fountains?? (once it gets warmer..clearly.)
There’s a separation in the minds of many of Paris vs. the rest of France because it’s only been since the 70s that France’s regional departments have any power! Ah HAH! That clears some things up….
hospitals now have ROBOTS that perform the circumcisions
some groups talk a lot about circumcision. Paid for with the French peoples’ taxes thanks!
I would love to hear your feedback on some of these
The definition of “Provence” thanks to my Parisian friends.
A confusion has finally been cleared up.
You can find the rest of the “Friday day-in-the-life” videos here
UPDATE
THANK YOU to Xavier Moisant that pointed out that there IS a difference between “Provence” and “province” (pronounced exactly the same way). NOW it’s clear!!!
In a city like Paris there are always so many things to do and see that sometimes it’s actually quite easy to just get a bit lost in it all. I sometimes use sites like Sortir à Paris, Paris.fr, and Facebook/Twitter to know what’s going on, or what’s good to do, but one other handy thing is the Parisian newsletter My Little Paris.
I thought for sure everyone knew this thing existed (especially before I would!) but discovered last week that none of the girls at my office had heard of it! Of course it’s not just for girls, but it sure is fancy to look at And probably (no yeah it is) the only newsletter I always read.
Three times a week you get suggestions on the coolest places to go and things to see/do that are always out of the ordinary and usually not well known.
For example:
My parents are visiting so I haven’t been able to make a traditional “day in the American life in Paris” video, but I DID have time to CARVE A PUMPKIN!!!
(For those of you that haven’t heard me talking about it in my daily life…I really. really. really just enjoy Halloween for carving pumpkins. I think carving pumpkins should have its own national holiday. In fact, for Valentine’s day? I want a pumpkin-carving set. I don’t know what it is, but there’s just a certain joy I can’t describe that I get out of hacking out the innards of a big heavy pumpkin, carving a big-ass grin on his face and lighting it all on fire. Well…the candle at least.)
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!! (Even if you’re already celebrating in the US )
…and unfortunately this comes at a somewhat unopportune moment as Mr. Guerlain, a descendant of the founder of the famous LVMH house, replied recently in an interview “For once, I’ve begun working as hard as a black. I don’t know if black people ever worked as hard, but I mean..”
Clearly causing a (must justified) uproar in France.
Nevertheless…… I didn’t have time to film another video lol
And the jackass descendant has nothing to do with their makeup.
And now that I FINALLY have a bank account in France, I can get myself a year-long subscription to put on my pass Navigo – it’s 29€ for the entire year.
….because clearly biking in January is the only way to go